Reaching Out And Reaching In
by Megwill
Summary: She watched from her horizontal position on the loft kitchen floor as Castle fell first and crawled over to him. She reached out for his hand and he squeezed it in return. "Castle! Castle!" Her left hand fell to her abdomen, "I'm preg.." she tried before losing consciousness. What if Kate was unknowingly pregnant with Lily during the case?
1. Chapter 1

Reaching Out And Reaching In

* * *

He fell first and she watched as she too fell to the ground in the kitchen of the loft from Caleb's shots to her core. My God. She thought to herself as she crawled over to him. Castle was so far away, but still so near. She reached her hand out to him and grasped it. "Castle? Castle?" He didn't respond verbally, but squeezed tight. "Castle! Please you have to call someone…"

"… I'm pregnant." She tried one last time giving it her all while she lay on her back, placed her left hand on her abdomen and stared up at the ceiling right before she watched not only Caleb, but Castle fade out of consciousness.

* * *

Alexis was the first to discover her father and her blood curdling scream caused Martha to become the second. Though just as Hayley closed her eyes inhaled opened them and began to usher the women into the safe room Castle started to whisper a few words, "Hurry, Becks' preg…"

Alexis was already on the phone with Ryan when she paused to take notice that her father was still alive.

"Dad?" She knelt down beside him with Hayley.

"Kate…?" He asked hopefully.

"Dad!" Alexis smiled, but Hayley touched her shoulder and looked to Rick.

"Rick, is Katherine pregnant?" asked Hayley now extremely worried when he nodded what he knew confirming Hayley's suspicions. She swallowed found a pulse on Beckett then exhaled, "She has a pulse!" Hayley yelled to Alexis to relay everything to Ryan and call Lanie directly to let her know what was going on.

Alexis did as told as Martha looked up to Hayley, "I need blankets, clothes, anything to cover her wounds and Kate needs a blood transfusion if this baby is going to make it."

"Kate's pregnant?" asked Alexis paralyzed mid sentence.

"We don't have all day, Alexis!" Hayley yelled at the young woman who had become much more like the little sister from another mister to her.

Suddenly, what Martha thought sounded like a shot rang throughout the loft and Alexis was quickly reminded of Caleb. Had Hayley checked his pulse? When Alexis looked up Caleb was dead. It was only the police breaking down the door. Alexis had been too caught up in the moment to realize that Ryan had hung up on her long ago. The apartment was full of cops, and others related to the case. That scared Hayley and Esposito alike.

* * *

Hayley, Alexis, Martha, Ryan, Esposito, Lanie, and Jim took turns pacing the waiting room and getting updates from staff as Jenny took the kids to their Auntie's for the night so she could be with everyone at the hospital.

* * *

"Kate?" Jim was the first in his daughter's room when she woke.

"I'm preg…" She started.

Jim smiled, "I know. You told Castle, and he told Hayley who found you. He managed to come to and call someone Katie."

"I knew I was supposed to keep him around for some reason." Kate smiled, but Jim smiled a sad smile. "What?" Kate tried to sit up a bit, but Jim shook his head no.

"I'm confused." Kate said her voice trembling.

"Katie, he lost a lot of blood as well. He slipped back into a coma. We're waiting now." Jim explained as Lanie walked in to find Kate shaking her head no as tears streamed down her face.

Kate's eyes hung on her fathers and then she looked at her abdomen almost curiously as if she was discovering she was pregnant for the first time. She looked to her father and Lanie as more tears fell, "No. No…am I still…?"

"You didn't lose the baby and statistically speaking Castle should be fine." Lanie reassured her best friend.

"I really need to see him." It was more of a plea than a request.

Lanie looked to Jim and then Alexis walked in the room with someone whom had become her sidekick.

Alexis didn't know if the baby had made it so she didn't bring it up. Though, that didn't seem a problem for her sidekick, "You may want to see him, but the only place this new Mum is off to is dreamland and I don't plan on a dreamland 2 ;)" Hayley stated.

Kate looked up to Hayley who smiled in return, "Thank you, Hayley."

"Don't mention it." Hayley smiled.

* * *

A few days had gone by with Martha at Castle's bedside. Though, today, well today was a bit different. Today her son's eyes started to flutter open.

Martha ran and got a doctor as Rick coughed from surgery, tubes, and a dry throat. He painfully sat up vaguely aware of his surroundings he reached out for the ghost of her hand, "Kate?"

He had just seen her lying beside him. She was right over there, right? She had just told him she was pregnant. Oh God. Kate. Slowly he started to remember everything, everything. A tear fell and he felt more start to form as he closed his eyes and wished they could pretend in some sort of a distorted reality like they use to do so easily. If only.

* * *

Everyone go see the movie The Big Swim and The Rendevous this year! Well I said I was going to write a series finale fic...now, should I continue? I know I'm going to continue with the Alexis centric one so no worries with that... and my finger is as good as it's going to get...Yay! Also, I was not able to see the series finale to answer questions that I don't owe anyone. I just watched it recently. ;)


	2. A Rose Colored Clarity

A Rose Colored Clarity

Kate was surprised when she woke to find that Alexis was the only one in her room. Kate studied her as the twenty two year old read one of her many novels. While her father loved to write, Alexis loved to read.

"Why didn't you tell anyone you were pregnant?" Alexis asked never looking up from her book.

Kate suddenly wished she hadn't woken up just yet. She shut her eyes, but not because she was in pain. Sometimes reality hurt worse.

"I wasn't sure myself until the hospital blood test confirmed it when I was shot. I'd only just realized I was late a couple days ago." Kate explained.

Alexis flicked her eyes up from the pages on her book to meet her step-mother's eyes, "If you even thought you might have been pregnant then you should have quit the case." Alexis rationalized as she held Beckett's stare, "You were shot in the abdomen. There was a high chance-"

"I know Alexis! Would you just… _please_." Tears streamed down Kate's face as she looked away from the redhead. "I'm scared too…but just…I can't be scared right now." Beckett looked down to her hands, "I already love this baby and I never even thought I liked kids. I don't know how to explain it to you." Beckett looked up at Alexis, "I was terrified, petrified to wake up because I knew if my suspicions were true and I was pregnant then any chance for life that this child had were slim to none. What kind of life would this child have if it did live? Because of my actions did this mean whatever life my child had or didn't have…was it my fault? Could I have prevented this?"

Alexis had never seen Beckett like this before, ever. Now for the first time she looked at Kate Beckett as not the third try or just another one of his dad's girl friends, but for the first time she saw her clearly. A human just as herself trying to navigate life. Alexis put her book down as she stood and walked over to Kate's bedside.

"Nothing is your fault. Caleb Brown is the one who shot you both. This is not your fault Kate." Alexis said as she held Kate's hand.

"But if only I would have quit the case." Kate rationalized.

Alexis gave Beckett a sarcastic side eye, "Realistically, when has that ever happened?"

Kate smiled and nodded, "Okay."

"Dad's awake, but he is still barely able to move just like you." Alexis reminded her.

"I tried to tell him before we were shot that I was pregnant. Do you know if he remembers?" Kate wondered.

Alexis nodded, "He asked about you as soon as he woke up. His memory is doing well as he has asked countless hospital staff about you and if they knew if you were pregnant. Do you realize how far along you are?" Alexis inhaled and exhaled, "You are about twelve weeks."

"What did you tell him?" Kate wondered as she had no idea how far along she was herself.

"The truth. That you are fine and did not lose the baby." Alexis stated.

"Alexis, thank you for sitting in here with me. I didn't think you would want to sit in here." Kate smiled.

"Please don't say things like that. You think that you're being cordial to me and I understand why you would think that. Though, I would like to think that you think I have grown as a person and I hope you'd expect me to want to sit in here with you. I mean I am going to be a big sister sooner rather than later." Alexis smiled as did Kate.

"Yeah, I suppose you are." Kate said her mind spinning a million miles an hour.

"He really loves you." Alexis knew this for a fact. Kate Beckett had been a part of her life for more years than her own mother had.

Kate inhaled and smiled almost nervously as she stared up at Alexis, "And I've always loved him, always."

"I wonder if it's a girl or a boy." Alexis mused, but Kate didn't respond. She had fallen asleep in mid conversation. Alexis smiled let go of Kate's hand and got up to go and visit her father, but right before she left she stood in Kate's doorway a moment as she held the door open she watched her stepmom sleep. Beckett wasn't just the third try or another fling. Alexis now knew this for certain. Today, she saw a part of Kate Beckett she had never seen.

While it had taken a while Alexis had finally removed her rose colored glasses and what an exceptional view she now had. It was just…the clarity she viewed her with after seeing Kate Beckett break right before her own eyes. Alexis blinked and swiped at her blurry eyes, but not because she wore rose colored glasses. No. A smile spread and tears continued to fall as Alexis stood in the doorway and watched Kate sleep she whispered, "I never saw you as a mom before."

Then she quietly shut the door and walked down the corridor to her father's room. Kate Beckett would never be her mother and thank god for that. Alexis felt she had done just fine without one. She didn't want a mom. Though, as she walked the corridor to her father's room she realized Kate Beckett was really in this for good. She may have been a revolving door, but Beckett loved her father unconditionally. Alexis knew this didn't mean she and Beckett were best buds now. That would take more time they were nothing alike and would never be the best of friends. Though, for the first time Alexis looked at Kate as a mother. Kate was going to be a mom to her sibling and while Alexis knew Kate was scared. For the first time she wasn't scared of her heart.

Alexis remembered as she walked down the hall to the moment Beckett had first woken up. Alexis had been pretending to read, but in reality she'd quietly watched as Kate embraced her fears. Curious wonder lit up Beckett's eyes as she watched on the monitor while an extra heart beat. Alexis now stood in her father's doorway and smiled as she thought of Kate. No she wasn't scared of her heart at all. Not anymore anyway.

I really hope you guys are okay with this. lmk please. I hope everyone understands what I'm trying to convey. yikes. Also, one can usually hear a heartbeat at 8 weeks by intervaginal ultrasound. lmk how it is. Thanks to my readers XOXO


	3. An Assurance Policy

An Assurance Policy

Castle opened his eyes to see his daughter speaking on her phone while his mother walked out of the room unaware he was waking up.

"I have to go Hayley. Dad just woke up and I haven't really spoken with him. Just, just make sure whoever is responsible has been caught. I don't want anyone else hurt because of this case." Alexis said.

"Caleb is dead and I will make anyone that is associated with the case pay. Now visit with your dad and tell Beckett I said hello." Hayley said and then hung up.

Alexis inhaled and smiled as she walked over to her father's bedside, "I spoke with Beckett." She then took her father's hand in her own and felt him squeeze it tightly. Though, she wasn't sure if the reassurance was more for him or her.

"What did she say?" Castle's voice was anxious, sleepy, and heavy with hope all at once.

"She is about twelve weeks along and she wants to see you. Though, we all know you both can barely move on your own right now. So, instead," Alexis face timed Beckett from her phone hoping the ring would wake her and she would answer it. Alexis frowned when Beckett didn't pick up. "Well I thought the ring may wake her and you two could talk." Alexis explained.

"It's okay. She needs sleep. How are you sweetie?" Castle hated that his daughter was the one to find him and at the same time so very grateful that she did. He didn't want to think of what would've happened if only a few more minutes had passed.

"I'm fine dad. I'm just glad you and Beckett are okay." Alexis said and then pulled a chair up next to her father's bed and sat down. Her hand still in his she looked at their hands as she spoke in firm whisper, "She's going to be a good mom."

Alexis looked from their hands to her father's eyes. He tilted his head slightly in question. He knew Alexis was more of the independent type and where this came from he had no idea. Alexis accepted Kate, and that had been enough. While Alexis thought she hid her true feelings it was apparent to everyone that Kate would never be accepted as a Castle family member in their household. Everyone had just seemed to accept this and move on. Well, until today.

"What brought that up?" Castle asked.

Alexis smiled, "Well besides the obvious fact that Kate is going to be a mom. I feel that I've seen her a bit different than I usually do today."

"Is that a good thing?" Castle was perplexed.

Alexis chuckled, "Yeah, yes. It's good. I use to like Beckett and that was enough for me. She loved you, but now, now I know she really would die for you. I love her for that. I'm not saying she had to prove her worth, but yeah, I guess I am saying that. Daddy, she has always been kind and accepting to me, but I've never really seen Kate as a mom. She's always been Beckett to me if that makes sense and now I'm going to be a big sister. While that is crazy in itself the fact that Kate is starting to make sense to me is even crazier."

Castle smiled and squeezed his daughter's hand tight, "I love you baby."

"I love you too Daddy." Alexis smiled as she squeezed back and then kissed him on his forehead. She turned behind her and found her dad's phone and gave it to him, "Maybe you can call her in a bit." Castle smiled and nodded in appreciation as Alexis stood up.

"Where are you going?" Castle would always try to hold onto his little girl.

"You need to sleep. While you're awake now it's only a matter of time before you fall asleep mid-conversation. Don't worry I will tell Beckett whatever you need or want me to when she wakes up. Daddy you almost died, again, please get some rest." Alexis rationalized.

"Okay." Castle smiled as he watched his little girl now a young woman walk out of his hospital room. Suddenly, his phone started to ring and he looked at the caller ID he as quickly as he could for being barely able to move, "Kate!"

"Hi." Beckett whispered back through the line.

"How are you?" Castle sounded scared of the answer he would receive even if everyone had told him she was fine. Beckett was always fine.

"I don't really know yet. When we were laying there after I shot Caleb I thought we were going to die. I wasn't sure how far along I was or if I was even pregnant. I figured if I was I needed to let someone know in case we lived. I'm not showing, but I think I will be soon. Castle I'm twelve weeks. They can hear a heartbeat at eight weeks. I could have lost the baby. Alexis her father, Martha her son, and I don't know what I would do if I lost you." Kate sounded like she was trying her best not to cry, but it wasn't easy. "Castle, I love you, always."

"I love you to Kate and I love this unborn child." She could hear his smile on her end of the phone.

"Castle?" Beckett's voice hitched a bit.

"Hhmm?" He was starting to get sleepy.

"Do you think I will be a good mom?"

"No." Castle said, but Kate knew him too well.

"Be serious Castle, please." Beckett argued.

"I am. No I don't think you will be a good mom. I know you will be a great mom." Castle thought his clever words would cheer her up.

"I'm still nervous. I'm so nervous and almost scared." Beckett admitted, "I really didn't have a mom for the majority of my life. How am I supposed to show a child everything I never was able to have?"

"You know who just stopped by my room?" Castle asked.

"No." Beckett looked down to her hand resting on her bare abdomen. So many staples, stitches, and bandages lay where she had just had surgery. Caleb's bullet surely stressed the baby, but he had missed her uterus and the growing child within. She was still not out of the woods for a miscarriage, but she didn't feel the need to tell Castle just yet. So far, everything had been going swell. She was now a high risk pregnancy for sure, but she didn't really want to think about that right now. "Who came by?"

"Alexis did and you know how she doesn't like to put herself in between the middle of things that are going on?"

"Yes. I know." Beckett spoke the truth.

"She said you are going to be a good mom." Castle said hoping it would reassure her and for a moment there was silence and then the tears came for Beckett as she looked up to the ceiling and shut them tightly, squeezing out the last few drops.

"She's a hard one to impress and a pretty harsh judge." Beckett said.

"So, see Kate, if Alexis said you will be a good mom and I know you will be a great one than you have nothing to worry about." Castle smiled.

Kate inhaled, "I wonder if it's a girl or a boy?"

There was silence.

"Castle? Are you still there?" The phone was still on, but he had fallen asleep. Kate debated turning her cell off instead she held the phone to her ear and fell asleep as she listened to Rick breathing. It was familiar and comforting.

* * *

Hayley sat very calmly in the passenger seat of an old mail truck in the driver's seat sat a man with his hands duct taped to the steering wheel.

"Do you like games…what is it Ian?" Hayley pulled out a sharp knife from her pocket. "I asked you a question Ian. I expect an answer. You see every time you do not answer something bad is going to happen. Do you understand?"

"Yes! You crazy bitch!" Ian said.

"What did you call me?" Hayley asked.

"A crazy bitch!" Ian repeated.

"Okay." Hayley said as she cut one of Ian's fingers off.

"Oh my God! Oh my God!" Ian screamed.

"Stop yelling and tell me what you know." Hayley demanded.

"I don't know anything!" Ian claimed.

"Oh, you know nothing? Okay." Hayley proceeded to cut off another finger while the man screamed.

"Wait! I know the truth serum originated in Montreal." Ian said.

"Who else knows about the truth serum?" Hayley wondered.

"I don't know." Ian said.

"Okay." Hayley said and then cut off another one of his fingers.

"OH MY GOD! Alright! Alright! They were working with other scientist in California, the UK, and I think Thailand. I swear to God lady that is all I know!" Ian was in obvious pain and looked up to the sky.

"I believe you Ian you have been somewhat helpful." Then she jumped out of the truck and looked up at Ian.

"It really is a pity. All of these peoples packages are now gone. Well, I hope they bought the insurance policy to go with them." Hayley said as she shot Ian in the head and then turned on a handheld detonator and tossed it into the truck as she watched it blowup.

* * *

The Title is An Assurance Policy as I figured Alexis has really been doing a good job of assuring her father and step-mom of the other as well as keeping her grams informed. Plus, the last bit...I will dive into more later if you guys would like. A bit of a double edged title I suppose. Thanks again to all my readers! XOXO check out my twitter profile megsmusicalmuse also check out more stories ;)


	4. Drawbridges and Walls

As Alexis walked down the corridor to greet her Grams she pulled out her cell and quickly dialed Hayley. Hayley looked at the number, but did not answer. It seemed things had become too risky as of late and the less contact with the Castle's the better Hayley knew it was for everyone. Alexis hung up without leaving a message and walked into the waiting room to find Jim Beckett was chatting with her Grams.

Alexis walked up to the two who in turn looked up at her, "Alexis, darling, have you spoken to your father?"

"Dad is awake and I've spoken with Beckett as well. I believe they're both asleep right now. I managed to find out how far along Beckett is while I was in her room and she is pretty far along. Twelve weeks to be exact." Alexis said and Martha's eyes grew large as she looked to Jim.

"How is she? How is the baby?" Jim wondered concerned.

"The baby has a strong heart beat and while Kate is still shaken up from the whole ordeal Kate's OB said that the pregnancy is on track and the child should be fine." Alexis responded.

"That's wonderful news." Martha replied.

"Have they been able to speak to one another?" Jim wondered of his daughter. He knew how much she loved Martha's son and how she would do anything for him. She had proven time and time again just how important Rick Castle was to her. Rick was the only man that she had let not only peer beyond her walls, but he was the man who waited patiently while Katie hesitantly lowered the drawbridge so Rick was able to walk beyond the walls that guarded her heart. Now two hearts inhabited one Castle and now, now Kate was okay with that.

"I tried to FaceTime Beckett so dad and she could talk, but she never answered. I don't think that they've been able to speak with one another just yet. Though, I'm not completely sure of that fact." Alexis answered and Jim stood.

"I'm going to go see if Katie is up or not." Jim explained and Alexis shrugged, "Okay."

Then Jim made his way to Kate's room and Alexis sat down next to her Grams with a loud sigh. Martha looked to her granddaughter and placed a hand on her knee, "How are you holding up kiddo?"

Alexis looked to her Grams and smiled, "I'm fine Grams." In reality she was terrified for her unborn brother or sister's life and worried constantly about Hayley and if she was okay. Should she have called her or did her call do more harm than good?

Jim walked in to find his daughter was in fact sleeping. He paused a moment to stare at all the wires and machines hooked up to his little girl. He sighed and rubbed at his face and then sat down in the chair next to her bed. As he entwined his hands and rest his forehead on them he felt his eyes well up a bit.

"If you look right there you can see the heart beat." Kate yawned as she pointed to where an extra heart now beat on the screen.

"KATIE!" Jim stood and Kate opened her eyes to look at her father.

"Hi Dad." He leaned in and kissed her forehead her arm still up in the air pointing to the extra heart beat.

Jim turned and looked at the extra heart beat and smiled, "You are very lucky Katie."

Kate smiled up at him, "I know. How is everyone else?"

"They're well. Rick woke up a while ago, but I believe Alexis said he is asleep again." Jim said and Kate nodded. "Alexis found you two. She has been a big help since you've gone into surgery."

"I've spoken to both Rick and Alexis and Rick said that Alexis agrees that I will be a good mom. I'm scared, because mom left us early. Dad do you think mom would think I would be a good mother?" Kate looked up to her father who took Kate's hand and pulled the chair closer to her bedside as he sat.

"Katie your mom was an incredible mother and she knows you will be too." Jim tried reassurance, but Kate only stared at their connected hands and released her own hand from her father's grip.

"How am I supposed to be an amazing mother when the standard is incredible? How am I supposed to live up to mom?" Kate asked her eyes welling with water but no tears shed.

"You won't ever live up to your mother, Katie." Jim took her hand back in his and squeezed it, "She wouldn't expect you to be just like her. She would never expect that from you and you shouldn't expect it from yourself."

"Even with all of the contradictions Castle and I have had I still find myself hopeful that everything will always be okay. I'm aware I take a lot of risks and I know the people I love suffer for it. Though, I know without a doubt that without Rick by my side I would've never even made it this far. I need him." Kate explained this to her father in a fierce tone.

"That need is what kept this child alive and how I know you will make the best mother ever. You've always loved Castle." Jim said with a smile, "Your mother once told me that in the end there is but Faith, Hope, and Love. And in the end love is the greatest of them all. It heals both internal and metaphorical wounds. It's able to find it's way into the hopeless of times, and it's able to create life."

"Dad when did you become such a speech giver?" Kate smiled, "That sounds more like something Castle would say."

"I guess since I met your mother." Jim smiled as did Kate.

Kate squeezed her father's hand as he stood up, "I love you, dad."

"I love you too, Katie. Now get some rest. You both need it." Jim smiled and Kate waved as her dad walked out of the room. She rolled her head from the door back to the extra heart beat on the monitor and smiled to herself. Yes things were going to be okay. Now, everything was going to be okay, mainly because tomorrow was more hopeful than night.

* * *

Hayley landed in Montreal yesterday and while she recognized that Alexis was trying to contact her she knew better than to acknowledge her calls. Though, she wanted to do so, so badly. Alexis had become a type of little sister to her and Hayley knew that Alexis was probably running the hospital right now she was so use to them. This was not her father or Beckett's first rodeo. Therefore it wasn't Alexis' first time pulling all nighters at a hospital either. Though, this was the first time Alexis was balancing her Grams, Jim, her father, Hayley's involvement in closing the case and now Beckett's pregnancy. The stakes were raised and the pressure was on for the twenty two year old and Hayley felt bad she added to that pressure. Though, in hind sight there was no time to worry of Alexis' well being. Not when she was literally in the city the truth serum originated from.

* * *

Jim walked out to the waiting room to greet Martha and Alexis. They both stood hospital coffee in their hands, "How is she?"

"She's probably asleep again, but she is good. She's spoken with Rick." Jim said and Alexis looked at her Grams and smiled brightly.

"Have you spoken with Hayley, Alexis?" Martha wondered and Alexis exhaled.

"No." Alexis said.

"Oh, well I'm sure she'll call soon." Martha said and Alexis smiled and nodded in agreement. In reality Alexis was unsure of when she would be hearing from her pseudo big sister. She inhaled and watched as Ryan, Esposito, and Lanie came back from the café with more coffee.

* * *

okay so this was clearly a daddy/daughter chap and a I haven't forgot you guys or Ryan, Espo, and Lanie chap...so just hang on and please bear with me.


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